Chronicling The Last Days. 26/9/2013

September 26, 2013

 

Wednesday.I would take Merit to her home-for-a-while. We would see a multiple-car accident on our way there with one car burning with a person still inside it. The smell of death, of burning flesh and the presence of something chilly would fill our car.

Home. Hettie Chuga's demise would be a year old today. The memorial service would be emotional, I would feel my heart breaking. I would sniff severally for the next hour, trying not to break down with my Merit in my arms till we would return to the Chuga's residence and then the tears would come for the next 4 hours.

My older Sister, Jane, would call to ask if I am fine throughout the duration of my emotional breakdown. She feels in her spirit that I am down. Oler Sister Boes will call and say;

'Everything will be fine Tuma. You are the strongest girl I know in your circumstances and your age. It is just months. Merit will be fine'. Mother would call, she misses me,misses Merit.

I would calm down when an aunt would scold me to stop crying.

'If you cry like this because you are only leaving her here for this short time when Mummy has lost her's to death forever, how do you want her to feel, to cry? She won't be happy with you oh!' ...
Des (Merit's Dad and Hetty's only sibbling) would light a memorial candle in a semi-floating lamp he designed with butterflies for Hettie. That's her favourite thing he says. Next year, he'll light two. When Merit gets older,they'll light Hettie's lamps together,I tell him. Her grandmom already calls her 'aunty Mashi' after Hetty...Mashi is Hetty's other name. It means something lovely, something so beautiful it hurts the eyes. 
 I would sit in a cab on my way to Abuja and type furiously on my blackberry. The tears keep clouding my sight. I would read what I typed later and it would read; bhtsawhklngdswtui¥nbddsabhhyjf.

Senseless gibberish.

Thursday: I think Merit has woken up now. She would be looking around to see my face. She would listen hard to hear me sing in a language I don't undersand,that makes her laugh with her hands clasped,held up to her mouth,laughing. She would be missing me now,as I do, her. I think of my Mother and 5 other sisters who all wanted to be the ones to nurse Merit till my return from Aberdeen, where i would be studying for a Nasters in Law. My older brother Dan who wanted to be the one to take her too...the teetings that were held just for where she should/would stay and how my Uncle and everybody else worried...I am thinking: See, that is the thing with when your family is closely knit like that...and when you meet the loveliness that is Merit.
Home. Blessing, Merit's home nanny, is crying again. The children in my neighbouhood came early in the morning to see if Merit came back with me. They cries when I told them they'll see us in 3 months or so. I am the strong one now, petting the smaller ones to stop crying with biscuits. Be strong, I tell me.Be strong.

I will board a French Airways plane for Aberdeen on a Satuday night and sleep through the flight to France and arrive in Scotland the next day.