It is early Monday morning. The lovers hurdled up close,
sniffing each other’s early morning scents. She is quiet, thinking. The
conversation with an old friend still played out in her head. ‘Get settled’ he
had told her. He had intended the meaning to mean ‘get married’ she had argued
with him. Getting settled is many other things and not just ties to another
through oaths of fidelity and eternal love, she’d said. Get settled? What the hell does that mean
really? And why do people always intend it to mean the same thing? Getting
married these days is as easy as going to court and signing legal papers 3
months after…
The last thought about the ease of getting married tickled
her. She knew she didn’t believe her own argument. Getting married was not an easy decision for
her. She can’t even decide if she even wants to be called ‘Mrs this’ yet…
‘I had a chat with a friend just before you woke up’ she said. He is still half asleep but he heard her faintly.
‘Huh?’
‘I said I had a chat with a friend earlier, just before I
woke you. He said something I didn’t agree with, he said ‘getting settled’ was getting married, I
think people always misrepresent that phrase, getting married doesn’t transfix
you to a town or country, plus, for someone to be settled, he or she must have
fulfillment in every area of his/her life, there must be emotional, financial,
spiritual and physical stability first. Marriage is like a contract, merely
getting tied, in my opinion, is not stability’
‘But getting married presupposes that you have all the
security that you just mentioned, no? Once marriage and children
happens, one does not have the freedom to up and leave a city, job, or location
as single people do. It means your every decision and or security is tied to
another now, hence, ‘settled down'. He finished.
‘But that is exactly what a committed relationship does to
you, no? Once you are in a relationship, like we are, our decisions are still
not impromptu anymore, you still consider the other in every step you take,
still settled in the sense that you mean… you are settled with me aren’t you?’
her voice is smaller now, almost a
whisper. He heard her. He heard the ting in her voice as well, but wishing not
to lie to her, wishing to tell her what he had always wanted to tell her since
she started asking him questions about his family, about wanting to meet his
mother, he replied;
‘No babe. We are not settled. We are not secure with each other’.
She heard him in her silence. She knew what his words meant
too. She was going to leave his city to another country on a job transfer soon. He had told her she was very independent of him. She made her own decisions and almost always just informs him. They both knew it was going to be different once they part ways for the 16 months that she was going to away. They had been together for about a year now.
It was necessary that he told her what he had always wanted to say…
She realized what she must do now. It wouldn’t be an easy
decision but she must make it.
© Igali Tukokumo Conquer. 2012
