I am thinking about Maurice now. Before Merit was born, months before, Des and I decided on her name. We had always known she was going to be a girl, almost before she was conceived.
So Des said she was his Merit. I agreed she was my Merit too. There was chance for only a Merit but I told Des we should probably prepare slightly for a boy too so I called him Maurice, if ever Merit decided she was going to be a Maurice at birth.
So Des said she was his Merit. I agreed she was my Merit too. There was chance for only a Merit but I told Des we should probably prepare slightly for a boy too so I called him Maurice, if ever Merit decided she was going to be a Maurice at birth.
She was a Merit.
I was stuck with Maurice then, so, when I bought teddies for Merit, one of them became him. A brown cuddly bear. She loved him so much she would only sleep when I I put him beside her or lie her in such a way that she is cuddled by him.
I have been away from her for over 6 months now. I don't know if Maurice is still in her cot, if she still dots on him like she did when she was only months old. Des says there were too many toys and teddies around, that the Reverend's study (her grandfather) is now a sort of storage converted to keep Merit's excesses.
Excesses. That does sound like she did something wrong. She didn't. :-)
Excesses. That does sound like she did something wrong. She didn't. :-)
I am thinking about what happens to the things, people and ideas that we just kept close just in case what we really wanted to have, what we where set to achieving or the people we decide to stick with, left us or didn't work out. For me, every secondary plan, idea or back-up relationships people keep 'just in case' is a sort of Maurice. A Maurice gives you a less desired pathway but is not what you had initially wanted. It is kind of like applying to the university to study Law or medicine but only succeeding at securing admission to study Sociology or dentistry.
I am thinking Maurices all over the world must really feel sad about themselves sometimes, you know, because they'll always know they weren't the first choice for you. People always tell you how, sometimes, the rejected stone becomes the chief corner stone. Some Maurices are lucky like that, but It does not always work out that way most of the time.
That stone sometimes becomes a Maurice, lifeless, cuddly and feels good but always never the first choice when dreams count.
I am thinking Maurices all over the world must really feel sad about themselves sometimes, you know, because they'll always know they weren't the first choice for you. People always tell you how, sometimes, the rejected stone becomes the chief corner stone. Some Maurices are lucky like that, but It does not always work out that way most of the time.
That stone sometimes becomes a Maurice, lifeless, cuddly and feels good but always never the first choice when dreams count.
I am planning on putting my eggs in several buckets soon too.
I am planning to create several Maurices, just in case my original life plan never pans out. :-)
Merit, Maurice and some of her other favorite toys.
No comments:
Post a Comment