“This girl, you will break my heart!” he groaned. Angel only half-heard him, but she smiled when he reached out to surrender the last of his resolve to her lips. He moaned a deep, throaty moan and from somewhere outside, she heard a cricket chirrup. It was getting late.
”I should go home now.” She said.
He didn’t hear her. He had undone her blouse and her nipple was in his mouth.
“You didn’t hear me just now?” Angel asked, moving away from him, her nipple slipping out of his mouth. He looked at her, hurt.
“What will happen if you slept here, ehn?”
“An army of armed men will come breaking in,” she replied.
He smiled a sad, tired smile. They’d had this conversation before. Her reply always was of imaginary armed men. He had come to accept they were there, somewhere in the dark outside the door. He’d never met any of them but he hated them. They had a way of taking her from him.
“What must I do to have you all to myself?”
She didn’t reply. She thought he really didn’t want her to reply. It was that sort of moment, a question hurled at a sea.
“Tell me, what do I have to do?” he asked yet again. His voice was broken.
”Make me forget,” she replied.
He sat up then, holding her left hand. He brought it to his lips and left it there, lost in thought.
“Does it mean you will marry me?”
He tried to smile, but the effort stopped at his brows – a stillborn smile. She wouldn’t marry him. He suspected that already and his face quickly set to match his returning depression. She wouldn’t marry him. Because of the armed men!
“When will you let them go? When will you ever forget that they hurt you so?” He demanded. She didn’t have an answer to give him. Maybe never, she thought. She never answered any questions about the armed men in her head. They were always there with her.
Sounds drifted in from the hospital – sounds of wailing. Someone had died. People always cried in this hospital. She wondered. Then Angel knew why she’d never let herself be owned by this semi-obsessive, clean-nailed doctor with the desperate look in his eyes. There was just too much death around him. All Angel wanted was for her smiles to stay longer on her face. . . The other day, her sister had looked at her, concerned.
”Why do you have worry lines on your face at 22?”
“They must come from smiling too much,” she had replied inanely, grinning for good measure. But Bigsis didn’t smile back. Angel was not bothered. She’d never let things she couldn’t control get the best of her, she tried hard not to let them.
Dr. clean-nails nudged her back to reality. Angel half-smiled and kissed him.
***
She pushed the small iron gate open and saw a face peep from inside the house. Angel knew Bigsis was looking to see who had honked outside. She shut the gate carefully and walked in.
“Good evening Bigsis,” Angel greeted, making to walk past. She saw the question in her older sister’s eyes before the voice came.
“Are you seeing someone? It is almost 9 p.m., you know?”
She wasn’t going to answer. Her sister had a way of asking these questions. Am I that transparent? Angel wondered. It was strange how people assumed it had to be a man keeping her out late every time. Bigsis never assumed it was possible she just sat alone in a bar; sipping a bottle of coke and watching time pass by. Angel answered her question with a smile, shook her head and entered her room. She knew the question would be asked yet again, but not tonight. Tonight she needed time alone.
Angel’s phone rang twice. She glanced at it but did not pick it up. Then a text message alert shortly followed.
“Excuse me Boss, you have a text message!”
She picked up her phone.
“Pick my call or I hang myself!” the text read. Angel smiled and dialled back. He picked at the first ring.
“Doctors save lives, not end theirs.” She said coolly. She heard him laugh, short, but even from across town she felt his face setting.
“. . .Angel. . .I broke up with Tope on Wednesday,” he said briskly. She didn’t hear the beginning of his confession.
“Why?” She half-screamed.
Silence.
“You don’t even care that I am serious about us, do you? I tell you I left my marriage-bound relationship to be with you and are asking me why? I left her for you Angel, I left Tope for you!”
She didn’t respond. Maybe if he had listened long enough to hear his own voice, he would hear his blunder. Breaking off any relationship for her was a mistake. Angel knew this, she resumed breathing in silence.
“I need to process this information,” she said finally. “Let’s talk in the morning, okay?”
“No. Let’s talk about it right now! What really happened that night? What did they do to you that you have locked up your emotions so?” He asked. He had struck a nerve. Angel did not respond.
It had been years since the armed men appeared and disappeared with her easiest smiles but Angel still never talked of that night. Trauma, like most misfortunes, was best described in silence and the dark-skinned beauty from the Delta knew this well. She knew they would never have a conversation after today. His question sounded like a familiar chime — the prelude to a breakup.
ANGEL was first published by SENTINEL NIGERIA. To read, visit http://sentinelnigeria.org/online/issue-7-august-october-2011/fiction/angel/
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