Wednesday, 24 September 2014

Morphing: When A Photo Brings Words and Marks History



At 11: 45 pm on the 4th of May 2010, I shared this Photo on my Facebook page and tagged my friends to engage in comments and ideas on what their perception of this image meant to them. The comments ran for 12 days and during that time, Nigeria recorded an Epic event. President Yaradua died in office. At the initial moments of the exchange, non of us knew our conversation would turn political and chaotic and, well, legendary!

The comments you are about to read here are not edited or touched. 
The views are totally those of the speakers. Enjoy.



Pains and injustices.A Woman's Tale: When you look at this photo, what do you see? How does it make you feel?





  • Eky Egein MANGOS . ....THOSE TREES MAKES ME HUNGRY FOR MANGOS. DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THERE WAS AWOMAN THERE. ....LOL, DNT MIND ME. .....I SEE A WOMAN IN PAINS ASKING GOD "WHY"
  • Ukeje Jasper Isa I see a beautful dark woman wearing a serious face,looking up from under tree sheds...
  • Warebi Oboro-Aye a gr8 piece.knw wot! u shld tak classes in photography.relatin expressions,nature & all.
  • Bura-Bari Nwilo Gud thinking, gud piece. Hope u ar ok.
  • Igwe GreatPaulo Cj Highly-SylvaRated Why you come tag me for the picture of una village woman wey dey look aeroplane wey dey fly pass with great astonishment? Conquer, I yab no be small. See the position wey you put me for the tagging. So una village still dey do, aeroplane, bye.bye...?
  • Miz Conquer Nice perception Eky,Jasper,Warebi and Paul.
  • Bomobo Okoko Searching, searching 4 d light, d truth, d meaning of life. Dis is how I see it.
  • Miz Conquer Succcinctly stated, Bomobo!
  • IkpoBari Senewo and so the story goes! what does the mirror say as each one of us stand before it, either in the morning, afternoon or evening?hmmmm!
  • Igwe GreatPaulo Cj Highly-SylvaRated@IKPOBARI. When I look at the mirror, I see the true heir of the Aso Rock seat of power.
  • Richard Ali The photographer is a genius wallahi!
  • Miz Conquer @ IKpoBari;my mirror showed me a birthmark i never knew existed!sometimes,it almost always cracks form my indulgence.I can be hard to stand sometimes;even for a mirror!*smiles*
    @Richard; Narcissist!get over his genius already.Chicken!
    uh,what is that special title again?Rooster?
  • Richard Ali @ Tut'ma - *a'ma!* Heheh! The model was getting way too muchattention! LOL! That triggered a narci-alert. . .LOL! Seriously now,you have a lovely, profound, caption and this has turned my mere
    pixels into a powerful gender statement; what is 'she' looking at/for? And the other girl in the background, does she represent progress, the progress nonetheless of feminity? The monochrome medium, is it significant in any way. . .and other boring but fataly important questions. Oh well, cock, rooster, kaza, okuko - all mean virility. Ko ya?

  • @ Ikpobari - When i see beyond my image in the mirror {am an avowed narccissist on Wednesdays mornings}, i see my times reflected in all
    its wonderful, problematic, ambivalence. And i think, i am ageing, and soon, my 'great issues' will become marginal. Dreary? Only on
    Wednesday evenings.

    - Ra.
  • Igwe GreatPaulo Cj Highly-SylvaRated @ALI. Conquer go tell you the kind person wey I be. We no dey do grammar pageant for here. People wey dey speak big big grammar dey end up being... Make I no talk first.
  • Miz Conquer Paul,at least there are dictionaries you can use Abi?How come i am your fall guy whenever you are looking for trouble uh?

    Perspective Richard.Perspectives.
  • Igwe GreatPaulo Cj Highly-SylvaRated@CONQUER. Do you mean Lexicon? Ok, as an anglophiles, I have myriads of lexicons, (otherwise known as Dictionaries, in the modern day anglophone communities), in my house.
  • Tubodenyefa Didi Zibima @paul, for your mind you sabi speak english. see as u dey show yourself. Lexicon ko, Anglophone ni!
  • Igwe GreatPaulo Cj Highly-SylvaRated@KARLHOSPITALJUNCTION. O boy na acient grammar be that o. No be for children like you sha. @CONQUER. LMDO.
  • James Famo I think she wants to commit suicide.....and thinks d tree might not hold her weight...!!!
    • Richard Ali @ CJ - You sef! How now? I could type it Hausa or pidgin, since the issue is a suspicion of just English, not of language generally. Fine? LOL! You're in Yen abi? Cheers.

      @ All - Have yourselves a ball. I need to catch some sleep.


      @ Conquer - Thanks for the tag.
    • IkpoBari Senewo pain vs. joy...which one elicits more response? i see what's happening here...tx, Conquering for making some of us indulge ourselves in ways we never planned for. i'm impressed! Richard, i reserve my comment...anyway, go sleep, we go talk for morning.
    • Igwe GreatPaulo Cj Highly-SylvaRated I CAN SEE A TURAI, ASKING GOD WHY. 

      Shame to Turai, Ibori, Aaondoka and others. But more shame to Turai for playing a dirty politics with the life and reputation of her husband. 


      God, may you never give me a woman that will destroy my good reputations and take away my life in the expense of her selfish interest.

      Yar'dua was a good man. But the wife destroyed everything good about him. I really felt the death of that man. He is a good man.

      I love you my late president. The man of the rule of law. The man whose 7points agenda was turned into 7pointless agenda by his failing health. Rest in Peace my president.
    • Richard Ali I am touched by your sentiments, Cj, thank you. May Allah grant UMYA aljanat firdaus. Ameen. And let Him, who is Compassionate and Just, judge our hearts and deeds, as religion assures us He will.

      GJ will be sworn in in a few minutes. He has the confi
      dence of the youth and strict constitionalists alike. May he, like Jack Gowon in '66, do his utmost for the good of the country.

      Long live the Federal Republic.

      @ Ikpobari - Indeed, Conquer has become a FB host par excellence. Very interesting discourse.
      • Tubodenyefa Didi Zibima @paul cjunction,we are togeda. no worry, with ur HJUNCTION ESCAPADES, dont be surprised u will find a wife that will zip ur mouth and fight for our selfish interest against urs.
      • Miz Conquer @ James.I've always wondered why suicide becomes an options at ending pains.Even when it is contemplated,why use a hang noose?And when the noose is used as an option, wouldn't the support, whether a tree branch or a suspended enhancement, carry the weight of of the world,the burden in the heart and pains,break it?
        Is that what you meant when you referred to her weight not carrying her?

        IKpoBari:Pain and joy both elicit varied responses.But,from experience,I understand pain brings out the genius in most people.It is true.We even feel closer to God himself when we carry a hurt.

        @ Paul.I think Our president was a good man too.RIP Alhaji M.Y.

        @Richard. good morning! was wondering when you'll be up.I prefer my friends in their wakefulness.That way, i can account for their positions even when it is a still photo.
        Nothing is scarier than a sleepwriting facebooker,especially when he is Richard!
        LOL!
        • Richard Ali @ Conquer - I'm up and all perky, two cups of Taster's Choice gone
          down. Working on case theory and trial plan now, the EA caboodle.


          You last post to IkS reminded me of an Afro-'merican saying of
          'getting there {Heaven? Success?} having gone through Hell's kitchen
          and licked it clean!'

          I guess cultural experiences, at the basic, and the perception we
          aquire from them, are, strangely, similar.

          - Ra.
        • IkpoBari Senewo hello people! greetings! i appreciate ur really engaged minds. what an honour reflecting on issues of serious importance - personal and otherwise w/u all! keep it up! there is great hope for our country...even as we mourn our late President (i share ur sentiments...he was a good man(?)) and welcome our new President, GJ..."sadness and joy," how apt the phrase applies under the circumstance...GJ, welcome and congrats!
        • Igwe GreatPaulo Cj Highly-SylvaRated@IKPOBARI. Permit me to ask, "...he was a good man(?)..." please what do you mean by that?
        • Igwe GreatPaulo Cj Highly-SylvaRated I am making a very humble request. Please Mr. President Goodluck, use this divine opportunity to grant your master, Chief Diepreye Solomon Peter Alamieyesiegha a presidential pardon. After all he never stole more that Chief Olusegun Matthew Otitiola Aremu Obasanjo. Please do it for sake of the Niger Delta people. The money they claimed he stole is from Niger Delta, not from the north or west.
        • Richard Ali I second CJ on Ikpobari's quote. Pls be kind enough to clarify. Waiting.

          - Ra.
        • IkpoBari Senewo Since I don't ve the power to fully verify how good the man was good, i had to be somewhat reserved in my conclusions...that's what Menes do...it doesn't take down ur conclusions, people.
        • Richard Ali Ikpobari, I hope you can fully verify that you are your fathers son?
        • Richard Ali I am judging you by your own rules. You are from the delta and when rules are not universal, there is tyranny and oppression found. In the case you are upset, please reconsider the matrix of your thought.

          To all my co-talkers, a thousand cheers and a sun petal to you each.
          ...See More
          • Igwe GreatPaulo Cj Highly-SylvaRated The absence of truth presents, injustice, anachy and chaos. Ikpobari, listen to Richard.
          • IkpoBari Senewo Richard, i'm not upset...i was laughing so hard at ur comment hence the exclamation...any way, i don't see where to use ur words "the matrix" of my "thought" deviates from the original setting of our discourse...today we're both sad and glad...an intricate balance in the affairs of our motherland...it cuts across frontiers and i'm sure RA, that u'll not disagree with that...tx
          • IkpoBari Senewo CJ, u and RA are right. but i still wonder what has brought about the use of such heavy words... my (?)? hmmmm! unfortunately, there are reactions that don't make me salivate for more reaction...tell u what? this is one...i truly enjoyed our discussing Conquer's pix. our varied perspectives were enriching...and coincidentally applicable to the events in Nigeria today. who could have imagined? regards dear friends. bye.
            • Richard Ali Okay then. We are back on course. We are aware now of each other's reservations and if the discourse will continue with the highest intellectual tools we can employ then fine. But let us at all times be honest with each other, inspite of geopolitics.

              Thanks Paul.


              - Ra.
            • Miz Conquer @Richard,IKpoBari is entitled to his reservations about Alhaji UMYA, is he not? If he,A Mene,decides not to follow a trail of thought,should we,individuals each,correctly question his descent so??

              Paul,truth is subjective you know?

              sometimes i wonder why people confer good titles on a man after he is demised?
            • Igwe GreatPaulo Cj Highly-SylvaRated@CONQUER. People confer good titles on a man after his demise because the end justifys the mean. Through the symbolism of cosmological upheavals, the Evangelist Mark recalls that God will pronounce his last judgement on human events in the Son, putting an end to a universe corrupted by falsehood and torn by violence and injustice. Lets leave the last judgement for God. 

              To each of you, I express my deepest appreciation of your opinion. My greeting is extended to Conquer in an unprecedented way for bringing up such avenue that granted us the opportunity to exercise our fundamental human rights in the American way.

              Peace is the fundamental right of every man and woman, which was one of Yar'dua's utmost concern in his administration. His move for amnesty is a clear testimony that he is a lover of peace. And the Holy Bible made it clear that the peace makers shall see God. 
              I take my leave.
              Adieu His Excellency!
            • Richard Ali In taking my leave, darling Ms. Igali, I say; opinions are very very free, each man in his style. Each opinion comes from a pattern of thought. Fidelity of thought, which is truth, is found in this pattern. Therefore, this pattern is universal to each man.

              Now. If IkB cannot be sure UMYA is a good person, not because he knows for a fact that UMYA is a bad person or he has heard to the contrary but because he cannot 'fully clarify' UMYA's goodness, I say 'Fine.' But, in the same breath, he must distrust every single other thing he cannot 'fully verify' e.g. paternity, whether or not God actually died in 1966 or what the term 'blue' means.

              In this case, I've been assured he either distrusts every single other not fully verified fact OR that, from his last post, he didnt quite understand why his use of the (?) would cause my reaction. Both possibilities are fine with me, they both dispose of this issue nicely. Hope you are clarified?

              Well, thanks for the tag and the discourse. I have no doubt it will continue. Cheers!

              - Ra.
            • IkpoBari Senewo open up this discussion, permit me to ask: if i had simply said UMAYA is" good man" like u said, would u v questioned my paternity, especially when u didn't know the parameters leading to my conclusion? is it wrong to v the 'other side" of any discussion in Nigeria? I still worry at ur reaction...let me make myself very clear: it was sad u reacted that way and it goes a long way to pattern a premise to the ailments of our dear country. until we divorce ourselves of such attitudes and are freeminded in attending to things that are closest to our hearts, we'll go nowhere. no two people can v the same opinion. that doesn't mean the opposing voice should be silenced, insulted or abused. my advice RA, when engaged in public discourses, tone down ur reactions. if a subjectmatter doesn't wash with u, u either stay off it or think of ways to deal with it w/o insulting ur co-discussants/audience. expect no further response from me on this issue. Conquer, i bet u'll make a great legal mind. keep it up! bye people!
              • IkpoBari Senewo correction: "while i don't want to further open up..." tx.
              • Richard Ali Nothing opened up. I felt Conquer was a sort of judge, a host, and my last post was to clarify her.

                Further, forgive my words, they are merely an extension of your thought {as I grasp it from your earlier opinion} to its furthest extent. If it breaks 
                down at that extent, it means the first material, the first opinion, is faulty.

                Correctiön: I did not doubt your paternity. My conclusion is a bit subtler; if you doubt UMYA's goodness because you cannot fully verify it, then you must equally doubt every thing you cannot fully verify, including paternity amongst a long long line of things that cannot be fully verified. See?

                I wont have commented if you'd have said UMYA was a good or UMYA was bad or that you had no opinions on him at all. But what you did was to advocate Doubt as a creed. That, for me is a serious issue, going to the root of life itself. So, i had to test this creed of yours, and run the risk of having my creed examined. 

                You have not tested my creed, 
                you have rather advised me to be sensitive to other's opinions, advice i truly appreciate but which do not question my method - and causing me to see how my method {of extending your 
                UMYA doubt to all other issues} is faulty, would be the gift I would thank you for most, for it would force me to re-examine my method. See?

                Last note. If you really think countries cannot be simplified to what is basic, that there is no truth or that policy/opinion should have no universal fidelity - you would have succeeded in making Shell's case for its policy in the Delta.

                My dear, i speak as a brother. Pick a point, justify it to yourself, and hold on to it. Doubt as a creed is the recipe for anarchy.
                I see all this as being basic logic, to go on around this tires me. Nigerian public discourse tires me. My rule of thumb is - if the argument wouldnt be important two decades down, it's not worth it. I wont be typing this if I could keep to that simple rule.

                Buenos vistas, friend of my friend, and good luck.

                - Ra.
              • Miz Conquer @ ALL: I apologize for my absence.So much had happened these passed hours.A President was sworn in.Another was buried.Black dresses were worn and Champaign flowed from clanking glasses..all in six hours!
                Richard referred to me as judge.I am not.A host?
                yes.opinions were shared.that was the import of the shared photo. I wanted to hear the perceived impression and opinion of friends about the photo above.I'm glad we did not restrict our thoughts at all.since Facebook operates with a tread of conversation,we are given the opportunity to hear each others thoughts.I am glad for that.

                Paul.'The end justifies the means'? how did that suffice as reply to 'conferring good titles to a man when demised'?You referred to God's judgment.I meant Men.whenever a man dies (excluding some unfortunate ones),People somehow sing their praise.I understand it is based on the premise of not faulting a dead man,But somehow,even doubts as to whether the man was good in his life time gets a bad review and suspicions of irregularity.

                I am glad we are now not restricted to think in a box.

                I think when referring to a person as good, saying 'he was a good man' is incomplete.Some other person that,say,do not know the said demised person will not get your meaning.but if, while asserting a good disposition, someone says 'Mr A was a good man.he stopped the Jos crises in so and so year,gave me 5 Naira for fees,and found the cure for aids' for example,even a stranger can relate.Going by this premise,even I,am wrong to have said 'UMYA was a good man' .
                The rule had always been 'he who asserts must prove'.

                I enjoyed every discourse flowing from this tread of conversation.It appears that that Ra and Mene have reached an understanding?I would have been concerned if we didnt understand one another Or had gone annoyed at one another over a perceived meaning of issues.

                Thanks you all!
              • Igwe GreatPaulo Cj Highly-SylvaRated@CONQUER. Your calling me now is like invoking a corpse to testify in the earthly court of law the role he played (either good or bad) while on earth. I believe that God is the final judge. But to prove the roles my excellency played. He instilled peace in the Niger Delta area to an extent. He allowed the rule of law to take its full course. 

                I hope the two proves above are enough to calm the traits of the doubting Thomas in you to an extent. @IKPOBARI. I have to plead on behalf of Richard if he had coursed you any emotional pain. Nigeria is our country and our fatherland. But one thing I have to make you to ponder is that the diversity of our culture and parental up bringing deferes in opinions and otherwise. 

                @RICHARD. From the judgement of my verification, based on my ability to differentiate good from bad, I declare your apology to Ikpobari invalid.

                Kachineke mezie okwu. Amen!
                • Miz Conquer Your judgement is in default, Paul.why?there is no matter to rule on.
                • Igwe GreatPaulo Cj Highly-SylvaRated@CONQUER. In the interest of peace, togetherness and oneness, I partially, or better, fully subscribe to your defaulting my opinion. @RICHARD. I dey on my kneel o. @IKPOBARI. Make we allow peace to take 100% of our lives. @ALL, (except Chief KARLMAX H. J. ***just joking sha***) No matter the disparity of our opinions and discretions towards national and other issues, peace is the only reason for our existence. And that is the bedrock of my activities on earth.
                • Miz Conquer Seriously, I couldn't have asked for a better day.
                  O Nua oh! (greetings).


                  May our thumbs never get tired of typing opinions and views.
                • Igwe GreatPaulo Cj Highly-SylvaRated@CONQUER. Make you tell IKPOBARI say dem no dey use tie and suit fight for 9ja. @IKPOBARI. Fighting with such attire is worse than suicide bombing. Abeg change your pic to that one wey you dey smile before. I no like the way you squeezed your face with partial smile. Bros na peace, togetherness and oneness be all and all. If you don forgive, make you change the pic, atleast for one full day. I dey follow you welcome Goodluck to the Nigeria seat of power. The guy and Alamco na my guys before o. If I no support Goodluck, na who I go support? 
                  May God give my daddy Yar'dua a better place. 

                  Baba God abeg, rule this matter for us.
                • Igwe GreatPaulo Cj Highly-SylvaRated@CONQUER. Make you tell IKPOBARI say dem no dey use tie and suit fight for 9ja. @IKPOBARI. Fighting with such attire is worse than suicide bombing. Abeg change your pic to that one wey you dey smile before. I no like the way you squeezed your face with partial smile. Bros na peace, togetherness and oneness be all and all. If you don forgive, make you change the pic, atleast for one full day. I dey follow you welcome Goodluck to the Nigeria seat of power. The guy and Alamco na my guys before o. If I no support Goodluck, na who I go support? 
                  May God give my daddy Yar'dua a better place. 

                  Baba God abeg, rule this matter for us.
                  • Miz Conquer Paul,What in the heavens am i going to do with you?I'll wait for Marx to come 'handle' you again.
                    LOL!
                    I think i like the pix though.

                    I see you changed yours too.
                  • Igwe GreatPaulo Cj Highly-SylvaRated@CONQUER. The wahala wey be dey go on just dey purge me like the kain Thai food wey Ethiopian Airline give me onboard, on a transit from Bangkok to Ethiopia last year. Na because of the wahala make me upload and update that pic in memory of wetin happen last year. 

                    Mind you, I no dey dear Chief H. J. Karlmax. If he wahale me too much, I go give you money to give to those mistresses for his domain make them diffuse... inside his body. You know wetin I mean sha?
                  • Ukeje Jasper Isa @Madam Igali...are thes guys stretching you..?..They keep changing and they keep talking about this beautiful pix...what's up
                    • Da Poet Evocative, contemplative, reflective, melancholy, existential. You may know of Auguste Rodin's classic sculpture - "The Thinking Man", part of a larger piece known as the "Gates of Hell." It may not be too far fetched to call this "The Thinking Woman." Rodin's "Thinking Man" looks down and inwards - your "Thinking Woman" looks upwards and outwards, contemplative as apposed to introspective, intuitive as opposed to logical. Indeed it is redolent of a contemplation of pain, injustice, the human condition, the vagaries of life, oppressive customs ...
                    • Miz Conquer Fine Jasper.Stretching?No!they are great people,i am enjoying every last bit of em.
                      I'm fine and doing great Jasper.Hope you are too?


                      Very introspective, Poet.
                      'The thinking woman'. That is a beautiful caption too.I like that!
                      • Miz Conquer Just watched it.
                        Produced by Opera Winfrey, Tyler Perry and Ors,I read the reviews and the awards.But never knew I could feel this much sadness after watching the movie 'PRECIOUS'.At the end,it wrote:'TO PRECIOUS GIRLS EVERYWHERE'.Indeed!
                        MAY GOD HEAL 
                        EVERY ABUSED CHILD,BROKEN MAN/WOMAN IN THE WORLD.
                        I wish we could rid ourselves of the capacity to do wrongs.

                        Maybe we should relate/rename the photo to the movie 'Precious'?
            • ***END OF THREAD***

Sunday, 21 September 2014

The Gender Binary Lot

I stumbled on a blogger earlier today. He identifies as being gender binary and shows off a lot of dress sense and fashion tips too. He/she (?) is a certified fashion blogger for the gender binary lot, you can find him here: http://houseofalexzander.com/

I haven't read much of what he writes. I just ran amok (I meant amok here as 'frenzy', not the other meaning dear. I had no urges to do harm:-) ) his page looking at pictures and his style advice on where to shop for what shoe/dress or accessories. He looked like he knows his cloths.

Just before I thought to post this, I was thinking a little bit about the gender binary question and whether it will ever get to the point where society everywhere will accept a third gender of people, the binary lot, who decides to be legally known for not being a woman or a man?

Could this be possible in a distant world?

Assuming this happens, will there then be laws instituted to accommodate them then? How about their born sexes? will they maybe get bored with this gender neutrality and opt for some consensual nomenclature later?

Thinking about the gender binary lot, is this maybe the equalizer that ensures gender equality, ie, when society decides that there is indeed a third gender set made up of both sexes, hence the idea that one gender is superior to the other is, well, stupid?

Oh well! I am back to book-work. Have quite a bit to finish by tomorrow.
Till my next post,
Ciao!
Photo credits: House of Alexander

Fiction, Fac-tion and Ex-Dreads

21/09/14
However civilly a relationship ends, there is always the brooding fear that the events of how your relationship (or affair) panned out will be dreadful when exposed by a single narrative.
Worse still, if the parties in the relationship are (where) writers or love(d) telling stories.
Writing is therapeutic for some people, and the only way they heal a hurt is by telling a story about it, usually with a twist when the author makes it fiction. For failed relationships, the story could go from being a comedy to a gory tragedy depending on whether the author still loves you, wants you back, held you blameless during the relationship or really hates you now.You are never sure whether you will be sensually explored, if you will be made out to be the villain or if you will be killed off. 
If the author really hates you now, chances are that it will end as a tragedy culminating in the death of the villain or the happening of a terrible event to that character. Being killed off with a sudden illness is usually considered good. You know the written-about ex is being let off lightly in the narrative.
Some exes are not that merciful. Walahi! You will suffer in that story. Even the supposedly sensual bits of your relationship may be explored with animalistic symbolism.
So, when I received a notification earlier today with snippets of a story I was promised by an ex from years ago, a fac-tion* he promised I would find 'interesting' , I felt cold all over. I am sure the villain will not be mercifully killed off in that story. She will probably be a ball-snipping monster with a speaking/learning disorder, or worse. 
Why do I feel this dread? Well, our breakup wasn't really that amicable. I just left the relationship without explaining myself or even discussing my reasons. It was almost 2 years after the fact that he realized why I left and apologized for it.
Yes, I am slightly anxious and waiting for this story. Fiction (Fac-tion) is a beautiful thing. It allows you vent in a way that saves you a trip to the hospital (or puts you there.)

(c) 2014.

*Fac-tion; A hydrid between a fiction and a non fiction. A fac-tion tells a story inspired by real events but allowing for an inaccurate narration of those events with some imaginative flair for dramatic or literary effects.

Plotting Tragedies

I just thought up a story plot for a short story or webisode.

Wait for it...

Ok. A woman living in a hostel/house or apartment with men (add that they are related to her for a more twisted effect) gets pregnant, only, she never had sex  but sat on a toilet seat that was freshly used by her flatmate/a stranger/or (ad preferred character), who had accidentally spilled sperm on the toilet seat while masturbating or sleep walking. Yes! the sleep walking bit will read better in a story as the potential Daddy will never know his culpability in the events that led to the pregnancy.
Now weave all the tragedy and the strange accusations around this plot. Add that the actual father  responsible will do the most in persecuting the woman when the pregnancy surfaces...add a bit of the Junno effect by making the woman so religiously or morally responsible that she will never abort the baby. A birth follows and;

 Boom! A tight story plot right there!

I think it will make a great story. I will read such a story if someone wrote something with a plot like this. Wont you?

Saturday, 20 September 2014

For When We Mourn Our Loses.

This is for all the times we stood alone in the dark. 

This is for being unsure of goodness, of being alive, wanted or loved. 

This is for feeling the weight of the darkness that is now us, for the darkness that comes with loosing a light from just a flicker.

This is for how we feel when we mourn our losses.




(c) 2014
All rights Reserved

Friday, 19 September 2014

Of Death, Fetuses and Reliving our tragedies

I watched this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvanNDQhlYI complete recreation of the of the birth process of fetuses and I am thinking;


What if fetuses live full lives in the wombs of their mother?
What if there is an alternate universe created inside the woman's body with a whole life process in there for fetuses, that they had a whole different universe in there.

Really think. Think hard.

What if fetuses had full lives while they where in their mother's wombs. That they faced the same amount of troubles and battles and pain that we do, that they did everything we do in this life (earth)?

What if they married and had kids and owned jobs and fought wars in there?
What if everything that happens in our (current) lives recreates itself in that world with them (or that we are the ones reliving it now?).
That when a woman/girl commits an abortion and kills an undeveloped/fully developed fetus before it is born, that it is kind of like murdered in that universe, kind of like how we kill each other in this life, on this earth?

What if fetuses really lived full lives in an alternative universe called womb, and that their births or abortions signified a death in that life? What if that is why they cry as though in mourning, when they are born...Do people mourn their demise in that universe? Do they go back when they die in this universe? Do we all go back?

What if this means that we are all really dead (in that universe) but are alive now, here, in this one?

Do you think about these things sometimes?
These things we can not explain or even prove?

(c) 2014.
All rights reserved.

Of Mutant Sperms and Thigh Gaps

I am having the weirdest laugh just thinking about this.
Have you ever wandered how creepy some of the 'romantic' or 'sexy' things you say to your spouses or lovers sounds like to someone that is not in a sexual relationship with you?

Example
That time she snaps and sends a photo of her thigh gap to him and writes;
'Baby, see these hot-dog thighs? They'll eat you up when we see' *Cough*

Wait. Hot dogs eat people?

Or that time he says;
'Come here baby, let me give you mutant sperm babies and fill you up like a virus...'

Wait, what?! You where a demon all this while?

The things people do for love ehn.
Here is a traverse though. I never, never, ever! say those things. LOL!

The 'Igali Princesses' Recollection

Parenting is a tricky thing when your kids gets to a certain age, old enough for certain subjects to be covered.
It is usually easier when they are in their pre teens, before the noticeable sexual developments starts. Parents, especially (African) Nigerian parents are cautious when talking sexual education with their kids. I do not blame them. Sex is a hard subject when the person you are speaking to is related to you, especially when it is a kid, and the kid is yours.
Some parents are better at it than others. Everybody approaches the sex education subject differently too. For example, my mom started my sex education talks with me after she had made me read the complete EVERY WOMAN book.
I am thinking about this subject now because I just remembered a message I mistakenly wrote to my Uncle and Father figure 3 years ago while intending to send it to my boyfriend at the time. I was all romantic and explicit in the text, slightly dominant too. I wrote how I will have his kids and keep him in my bed forever. When I realized I had miss-sent the text and had received a summons seconds later from my Uncle I sincerely thought I would be murdered. 
 Even though I was 24 at the time, had finished from Law school and was living in a huge 3 bedroom flat in Abuja all by myself, I thought my outing myself as having a boyfriend and being in a (promising) sexual relationship equaled a death certificate, I was so scared.

When I arrived at my uncle's, he asked (without any small talk whatsoever);
'So, who is this kid you want to have kids for?!'
I was shaking so hard I didn't have a response. It was probably the best time for me to tell him about my relationship and arrange a greet-meeting but I was so scared. After asking a second time and having me close to tears, he let me go with a stern advice and said;
'You are not a kid and I wont beat you for this but this is what you should always remember. You are an Igali. You are a Princess. The Igali Princesses do not beg men!'.
Some parents are not as good at these situations than others.
I wander though. My (daughter) Merit is already 19 month old now. When she gets old enough, will I be good at lecturing her on what/how to have relationships like my mother did or will I pass on the classic 'Igali Princesses' advice like the Igali men would do?

I just got a mild panic attack just thinking about this now.

Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Of Unfinished Painted Lines


***
But 
Again I remember; 
I chose this life, this colorlessness of being. 
For 
Nothing is really truly beyond my reach.
For, 
if I wanted to, 
I could flood the world with the color of me.
                                                                  ***








'Color'.

2/8/14
All rights reserved

The Prosthetic Flashes

''My prosthetist assumed I would like to have a cosmetic hand, one that has no real function but looks like the real thing, and so he made a mold of my remaining hand. An artist who produces fake wounds in Hollywood created a clear silicone mirror image. Then she sat with me for six hours, painting it, even embedding bits of hair snipped from my right arm. The result is haunting, and I don’t like looking at it. I’m not sure whom I would be wearing it for. I don’t feel the need to pretend or to make my presence easier on others...'' Miles O'Brien wrote.

Flashback:

May, 2014.
My flatmate, Ama, had come to print a document in my room. I was watching a documentary on BBC about a medical procedure that 'corrects' adults who where born with hearing and speech impairments. It made sense really, but I was outraged. She Didn't understand why. 


I tried to explain what i was feeling to her though;

Society is somewhat just uneasy with every kind of difference or 'unnaturality'. 
A child born with a physical disability is an embarrassment to the parents, family and the community. 
Instead of building an institution for those who are different to have them assimilate in their own abilities, society would try hard to 'correct' you. And yes, a man's congenital deformity or accidental deformity is his shame too. His difference makes people uncomfortable, embarrasses them for the most part, so he will take that option (of correcting it) when he finds it.

What I was really outraged about was totally different from the program being shown then. I had called my GP about surgery options earlier that day and asked about prosthetic limbs too for my right hand, all the while brooding, is a prosthetic arm worth the trouble? For who would I be wearing it for? should I care if people are uncomfortable with my difference? If it is just for aesthetics, isn't it a sort of deceit, some form of living in denial that I would make a counterfeit?

...

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Guest appearance: What a YES vote at the Scottish Referendum means to the Niger Delta

Here is why  this Nigerian Post Graduate Student living in Aberdeen, Scotland, Ozah Azubuike, will vote YES during the Referendum: He tells me what a yes vote may mean to the Niger Delta in Nigeria and similar jurisdictions.
Enjoy!


  Photo: Ozah Azubuike is a Barrister and Solicitor of the Nigerian Supreme Court. He recently graduated from the Robert Gordon University, Aberdeen, Scotland with a distinction in LLM, Oil and Gas Law.

Monday, 15 September 2014

Blurred Day

*Aberdeen

The day breaks with a blur. you can tell the night wanted to stay a little bit longer.
At midday, the confidence with which every darkness asserts its depression on lightness [This is an actual word btw] is still evident. 
Nightfall looms and my tea bags are begging to rest now. The bathroom's flush handle too. Wet days gives me an obvious restlessness always translating to lethargy towards the end.
I feel like I am loosing something important today.
I don't know.
It will pass. It always does.


15/09/2014

Saturday, 13 September 2014

Of Primal Feelings

It is simply primal, this thing.
Every man feels unloved when another human, offspring or not, takes his mate's attention and care.
It is just how we are wired.

                                                         Photo credits; Mic.com

Splashing Dreams



Splash your dreams on the waves of life. Watch them tumble about with the current, then settle in nicely with the rest of the elements when the tides ebb.


@ 2014. Igali Tukokumo Conquer. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, 10 September 2014

The Selfie Run

There are some times I do not have ANYTHING left to do with myself.
When that happens, I let myself OUT!

Run free lady, run!




10/09/2014

Monday, 8 September 2014

On Being 'Distinctly Exotic' ( Or Not)

Aberdeen. 8/9/14
I wore fake hair for 5 days last week.I didn't enjoy it as much, my scalp itched throughout the duration of that adventure.














 I took it out early this morning, had a quick wash and left for my old flat around 11 am to check on a delivery I was expecting. It hadn't arrived. I walked to the city center from Mealmarket Street to catch the First bus by Primark. Seconds later, this conversation ensued.
***
K: Hello Love!
Me: Hi.
K: You are very pretty. I am sure you have heard that countless times?
Me: Oh? Thank you. That is a nice thing to say to a stranger.
K: My name is K******. I am from here. Hopefully, I am not a stranger anymore?
Me: My name is Conquer. I am from Nigeria. Nice to meet you.
K: Lovely to meet you too Conquer. I have a confession to make. I have been following you for some minutes now. Saw you when you stopped by M&S, I waited outside the Body shop for you. Gladly, you came out soon enough. I was wandering if you have a few minutes to spare? Can we grab coffee sometime? I think you are really beautiful, actually, you are distinctly exotic. I just had to meet you...
Me: Oh...
***
Distinctly EXOTIC.
Distinctly exotic?
My mind was throwing around his words in slow mo. I knew exotic meant something non-native, unique or unusual. I am thinking he meant it as a compliment but all I was thinking about, the imagery in my head, was strippers and dancers in clubs. I looked down on my over flowing black gown. I knew I was wearing no makeup or 'exotic' things. Where was that 'compliment' coming from? Should I act offended or surprised? Give him more time to throw me more 'flattery'?
The bus arrives. I tell him I'd been waiting for it all the while, wished him a pleasant day and got on it. He follows, seating just a row behind me. This will be a long trip, I thought.
****
Home. I was still worrying about being called exotic. I should  take photos, I thought. So I snap me a couple to see what he saw.
8/9/2014






Sunday, 7 September 2014

Musing: Merit, Maurice and Secondary Life Plans

I am thinking about Maurice now. Before Merit was born, months before, Des and I decided on her name. We had always known she was going to be a girl, almost before she was conceived.
So Des said she was his Merit. I agreed she was my Merit too. There was chance for only a Merit but I told Des we should probably prepare slightly for a boy too so I called him Maurice, if ever Merit decided she was going to be a Maurice at birth.
She was a Merit.
I was stuck with Maurice then, so, when I bought teddies for Merit, one of them became him. A brown cuddly bear. She loved him so much she would only sleep when I I put him beside her or lie her in such a way that she is cuddled by him.
 I have been away from her for over 6 months now. I don't know if Maurice is still in her cot, if she still dots on him like she did when she was only months old. Des says there were too many toys and teddies around, that the Reverend's study (her grandfather) is now a sort of storage converted to keep Merit's excesses.

Excesses. That does sound like she did something wrong. She didn't. :-)
I am thinking about what happens to the things, people and ideas that we just kept close just in case what we really wanted to have, what we where set to achieving or the people we decide to stick with, left us or didn't work out. For me, every secondary plan, idea or back-up relationships people keep 'just in case' is a sort of Maurice. A Maurice gives you a less desired pathway but is not what you had initially wanted. It is kind of like applying to the university to study Law or medicine but only succeeding at securing admission to study Sociology or dentistry.

I am thinking Maurices all over the world must really feel sad about themselves sometimes, you know, because they'll always know they weren't the first choice for you. People always tell you how, sometimes, the rejected stone becomes the chief corner stone. Some Maurices are lucky like that, but It does not always work out that way most of the time.

That stone sometimes becomes a Maurice, lifeless, cuddly and feels good but always never the first choice when dreams count.
I am planning on putting my eggs in several buckets soon too.
I am planning to create several Maurices, just in case my original life plan never pans out. :-)


                                           Merit, Maurice and some of her other favorite toys.